Brevard's Best News is written about Brevard County, for Brevard County, by Brevard County Citizens
© Brevard's Best News 2011. All Rights Reserved. Designed by B.L. Matteson Designs

Hello Readers!

Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there! My plans are to hang out by the pool and enjoy my mom and boys…I hope that you do something special and enjoy the day, and if your mom is watching over you from Heaven now, cherish your favorite memories.

I didn't realize how hard it was being a mom until I became one. My Degree is in Early Childhood Education, and I have always loved children, sometimes I love other people's children more.

Chris already had a son when we got married, and then together we had two more boys. So, in our home, we have a 15 year old, a six year old, and a four year old. Some days are better than others to say the least, but every day is a challenge.

Some of my favorite quotes that I have heard over the years:

• "Mom!!! He farted in my face!"
• "Mom! What are dingle berries?"
• "Mom! The toilet is clogged!"
• "MOM!!! It was an accident!"
• "MOM! Is a sharpie marker permanent?"
• "Mom! I swallowed my tooth! Will the tooth fairy still come?"
• "MOM! Look at my mummy costume! We need more toilet paper!"
• "Mom! Look at my arm pit hair!"
• "Yes, I punched him, but he was born before me."
• "MOM! COME QUICK!"
• "Mom, when you are my wife will you bake me Christmas cookies every day?"

Enjoy this edition, and know that I love hearing from you!

Until next time,

Peace, Love, and Happiness to each and every one of you!

Dana Loyd
Chief Editor

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Public Service Announcement from Brevard's Best News
By Brandi Lee Matteson

This is a public service announcement from BBN. This is to advise all people that Dana Loyd and Brandi Lee Matteson are indeed DIFFERENT PEOPLE. Let's take a look at some basic facts in the table below:

DANA	BRANDI
Wife	Ex-wife (couple of times over)
Mother	Does not breed humans
Sympathic	Believes that 98% of the world's population is wasting her oxygen
Diplomatic	Has a superiority complex

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Stop the Presses
By Dana Loyd

This rumor has been circulating all week, and all though there has been nothing concrete, this just sums it up for me! Thank you Robb Workman for your insight, great thoughts, and your valued opinion!

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"Ain't that a BITCH?"
By Dana Loyd

I receive a lot of letters, and I try to answer each one individually, but this particular letter that I received, well I must share!

I have removed the beginning of the letter, as I just want to share the best parts...the letter was addressed to me. The author and I were discussing the fact that our Sheriff, Jack Parker, spoke at the West Melbourne City Council Meeting on behalf of former Police Chief Brian Lock. Parker was defending Lock, and in his opinion, thought that Lock was the top Police Chief.

……I walked over to him during our break to ask one very simple question after listening to him attempt to defend the Chief earlier in the meeting. In his speech earlier, he obviously was not interested in the facts and evidence (Lock never even disputed in the past 6 months.....) and Parker even stated his department did their own investigation and found nothing.....amazing! I approached him and started to say "Jack, if one of your top commanders stole drugs from your secure evidence lock-up, what would you do?'" and started to put my hand on his shoulder to get his attention as he was surrounded by several folks stirring around in the crowd. The extreme anger in his face said it all instantly and he replied "Get your hand off of me, bitch!" I was shocked to say the least and immediately stepped back and walked away. I, frankly, could not believe what I had just heard from the county's so-called top cop. What a horrible thing to say to anyone! He sounded like some prison inmate!

Deputy Sheriff's Prayer
By Dana Loyd

I came across this while visiting a retired LEO and thought that it was worth sharing with all my friends and family in Law Enforcement. Every one of you has a dangerous job, and I want you to know that the politics involved right now have added more undue stress. There are people that care about you, and do pray for you daily. God Bless y'all and thanks for putting up the good fight! Stay strong!

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Spay and Neuter Your Animals
By Brandi Lee Matteson

By now, most people know about all the programs to spay and neuter your animals, but allow me to throw another curve ball at you. Stray animals, cats in particular, are overcrowding not only in our county, but counties across the country. Allow me to share a story with you.

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Make up your own head line...
By Dana Loyd

This picture was sent to me recently and I just had to share. Animals are smart, and this particular photo has to make you smile...

Send me your ideas and I will keep them anonymous and the best headline will be up on a later edition! Have fun with it!

1. Don't be a horse's ass...

Post your captions anonymously here.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?
By Dana Loyd

May 7, 2012 at noon was the deadline for all candidates to have their petition cards turned in. There are two ways for a person to become listed on the ballot on Brevard County.

1. A candidate must turn in 3,579 petition cards with Brevard County Registered voters' signatures.
2. A person may run for office without obtaining any signatures by paying a fee to get on the ballot. The fee is based on the salary of the position the person is running for. There is a six percent fee based on the salary. Of the 6%, 3% goes to the State of Florida. 1% stays in the Supervisor of Elections Office, and 2% goes to the party. So in the case of a person running for Sheriff, on either the Republican or Democrat ticket, the fee to get on the ballot would be about $8901.00. This is based on the 2009 salary for the Sheriff of $148358.00. Now, if a person was running with no party affiliation there would be no payment to the party, therefor the cost to get on the ballot would be approximately $5934.32. So, why then would a person not complete the signature cards? Well, perhaps the better question would be why would a candidate not turn the petitions in?

Poison Ivey and the Ivey Leaguers
By Dana Loyd

There has been a lot of talk the last two weeks about the Poll for Brevard County Clerk of Court and most currently, the Brevard County Sheriff's Poll.

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'I'm Sexy And I Know It' Earns Suspension For 1st Grader

Boy Quotes Song; School Tells Mother It's Sexual Harassment (read the full story from Denver's Channel 7 News)

Webster's On Line Dictionary defines Sexual Harassment as: noun

: uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical behavior of a sexual nature especially by a person in authority toward a subordinate (as an employee or student)

OK, so in this situation we are talking about a six year little boy. I have a six year son, and all though he loves looking at pretty ladies, I don't think he would have a clue as to what Sexual Harassment is. I asked him if he knew what harassment meant, and he said it means to pick on someone, or bully someone.

So, now, let's look at the lyrics of the song in question:

When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly
I pay to the beat,
Walking on the street with my new Lafreak,yeah
This is how I roll, animal print, pants out control
This real fool with the big ass fro
It's like Bruce Lee rock at the club
Girl look at that body (3X)
I work out
Girl look at that body (3X)
I work out
When I walk in the spot,this is what I see
Everbody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants
And I ain't afraid to show it
I'm sexy and I know it
I'm sexy and I know it
When I am at the mall, security just can't fight em off
When I am at the beach, I am in a speedo
Trying to tan my cheeks
This is how I roll, come on ladies it's time to go
We headed to the bar baby don't be nervous
No shoes no shirt and I still get serviced
Girl look at that body (3X)
Check it out
Wiggle,wiggle,wiggle,wiggle,wiggle,wiggle yeah (4X)

Congratulations Moss Beasley Camp!!!!!!
By Dana Loyd

Props go out to Sheriff Candidate Adrian Moss-Beasley for turning in 5069 petition cards! This is even more amazing because Moss Beasley did not even announce for his bid for Sheriff until January of this year!

In taking a line from American Idol's judge Randy Jackson: "It's time to get hot. This is the time to do it."

Carrie's Corner
Chicken Parmesan Burgers with Homemade Parmesan Basil Fries

I recently saw these on an afternoon TV show and had to share with my own touch. Kids will ask for these again and again. If you like chicken parmesan, especially as a sub, you will love this version that is just as easy and flavorful. Also, if you've never worked with ground chicken, its texture is not like any other ground meat. It is very moist and absorbs flavors well. It will not taste the same with ground turkey or beef, but feel free to experiment. Any recipe can be just a base. Feel free to add different spices and sauces to your liking. Make it your own but most importantly, have fun! That's what cooking is all about!

** This recipe works well for Parmesan Ranch Fries as well.

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